So, I'm sure you're thinking, "He's forgotten about his blog. Just like half the population, he started some random project that was therapeutic at one point, then got bored with it and gave it up."
Not actually true.
I just have had a crap ton of homework and stuff and (somehow) no time to do it. The fact that I procrastinate a LOT doesn't really help either. So, at the end of the week (or each week, in this case) I'm exhausted from putting off my work until 9:00 pm every night, I'm stressed 'cause there's usually at least one assignment I haven't done, and I'm feeling guilty because I had a bit of a breakdown a few weeks ago while doing an English essay that I now still haven't done. At this point, it was due last quarter (about three weeks ago).
And I have been doing useless things in my free time. Granted, they de-stress me, and they're fun, but they're completely useless in the long run. Said things include Starcraft, making non-player characters for a D&D game, starting to write random short stories about said NPCs, digging out Spore for the first time in many, many months, playing Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones, and drawing comics and stuff in class when I should be paying attention. Mostly Bio. When I don't pay attention anyway. Lecture, lecture, lecture...
Anyway.
So, assuming you've stayed with me throughout my pity session, you now know that there is a reason I have not posted. It's not a good one (I've had plenty of time on the net, etc.) but It's what I have, so...
Lessee. I guess I'll just ramble on until I have something useful to say. Getting back to my D&D game, I've been working on it for a while. It's taking place on a ship, so the PCs are going to have to interact with the same characters over and over. These characters (NPCs) are also going to fight with them at least periodically, both as allies and friendly enemies (hehe brawl!) so I need to stat them all out. This has proven to be time-consuming but incredibly fun. In making their stats, I've also come up with in-depth personalities and motivations for all of them, to the point where it makes me a little sad that I'm only using them in a D&D game that I'm obviously not going to run perfectly, and that I know I'm going to screw up the roleplaying bits and make the NPCs seem like unimportant idiots. I've started work on a story that kinda sorta follows the campaign, and it makes me feel a bit better, but I haven't really gotten anywhere with it so...
Hmm...other stuff.
School is still obnoxious. I took a neurological psyche test, apparently I'm smart ;) (how useful). Vacation is coming up, and I just got SSB for wii so I'm gonna be beating up my two younger brothers until my brains rot and my eyes fall out, and a good friend of mine informed me that she's "going out" with another guy I know and she called to make sure I wasn't going to be all jealous and explode all over him or something (sounds messy anyway :P). 'Twas an amusing conversation, to be sure ;).
Right then, out of stuff to talk about for now. Hopefully I'll come up with something meaningful in the future, but for the time being see ya!
--Nate
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Depression and Story Writing
I have discovered something very interesting. I am just about incapable of writing a happy story. So far, I have written:
1. A story about an assassin in which a nice, funny character starts to teach him about life ('twas the original plan, at least, I've kinda let the story die a little...) and happiness. Said kind character would then be killed.
2. A story (see previous post) in which a man's two children have their throats cut by a psychopathic killer. 'Nuff said.
3. A story (just started, dunno how long it'll be) set in the future following a massive plague (think bubonic crossed with the descolada from Ender's Game series) that wiped out most of the population. The disease affected the DNA/genes/etc. and (of course)caused some people to gain powers. Anyway. Main character in said beginning story is a kid who got blinded by the plague, but can now feel the air (literally. He can "see" anything touching the air within a hundred feet or so.). He and his brother are trying to survive in a post-apocolyptic type world where you need to beat/rob/use your imagination to survive. Also, some rich people sealed themselves away and have now declared themselves dictators.
Hmm...
That actually made for some pretty good brainstorming.
Well, that story'll be posted here somewhere if I actually get anywhere on it.
So, my original point:
What does this say about me?
I know I'm fairly depressed and have a somewhat bleak worldview and opinion of humans in general, so I suppose this just goes to show my belief that nothing ever turns out the way it was intended to, and there's no such thing as a happy ending. It also helps that I hate stories in which the character cannot die. If a writer ever reaches the point at which their story would end immediately upon the death of any main character (possible exception being the protagonist, being the focus of the story), they screwed up. Badly.
I can't think of any books that are really brought to mind here that messed it up. However, here are some books that (while good) the writer put themselves in such a position that you can basically be sure in further installments that no protagonist will ever die.
The Drizzt books. All of them. -RA Salvatore (great books, but that one flaw...)
...actually, that's the only thing that immediately comes to mind. I don't consider many other books with that flaw significant enough to remember.
Then of course, there's a similar but different flaw:
The classic flaw:
Now the title of a hilarious book:
HARRY POTTER SHOULD HAVE DIED
Honestly. If not him, at the very least Ron. All the minor characters are dead. Some of them were really cool, but every single main character was left untouched. It's ridiculous. Fortunately, I will save you the rant (mostly 'cause I don't feel like typing it).
So, drawing this post to a close. I apologize for not updating on Saturday like I did for the last two weeks. I think I'm going to try to keep at least Saturday posts, and maybe one or two during the week depending on how it's going. If I desperately need brainstorming, or am feeling really depressed or something, I'll make a post in the hopes that it will somehow make things better. Unlikely.
So, that said, thanks again for reading my horribly rambling blog post. etc. etc. etc, have a nice day and so on and nonesuch.
Nate out.
1. A story about an assassin in which a nice, funny character starts to teach him about life ('twas the original plan, at least, I've kinda let the story die a little...) and happiness. Said kind character would then be killed.
2. A story (see previous post) in which a man's two children have their throats cut by a psychopathic killer. 'Nuff said.
3. A story (just started, dunno how long it'll be) set in the future following a massive plague (think bubonic crossed with the descolada from Ender's Game series) that wiped out most of the population. The disease affected the DNA/genes/etc. and (of course)caused some people to gain powers. Anyway. Main character in said beginning story is a kid who got blinded by the plague, but can now feel the air (literally. He can "see" anything touching the air within a hundred feet or so.). He and his brother are trying to survive in a post-apocolyptic type world where you need to beat/rob/use your imagination to survive. Also, some rich people sealed themselves away and have now declared themselves dictators.
Hmm...
That actually made for some pretty good brainstorming.
Well, that story'll be posted here somewhere if I actually get anywhere on it.
So, my original point:
What does this say about me?
I know I'm fairly depressed and have a somewhat bleak worldview and opinion of humans in general, so I suppose this just goes to show my belief that nothing ever turns out the way it was intended to, and there's no such thing as a happy ending. It also helps that I hate stories in which the character cannot die. If a writer ever reaches the point at which their story would end immediately upon the death of any main character (possible exception being the protagonist, being the focus of the story), they screwed up. Badly.
I can't think of any books that are really brought to mind here that messed it up. However, here are some books that (while good) the writer put themselves in such a position that you can basically be sure in further installments that no protagonist will ever die.
The Drizzt books. All of them. -RA Salvatore (great books, but that one flaw...)
...actually, that's the only thing that immediately comes to mind. I don't consider many other books with that flaw significant enough to remember.
Then of course, there's a similar but different flaw:
The classic flaw:
Now the title of a hilarious book:
HARRY POTTER SHOULD HAVE DIED
Honestly. If not him, at the very least Ron. All the minor characters are dead. Some of them were really cool, but every single main character was left untouched. It's ridiculous. Fortunately, I will save you the rant (mostly 'cause I don't feel like typing it).
So, drawing this post to a close. I apologize for not updating on Saturday like I did for the last two weeks. I think I'm going to try to keep at least Saturday posts, and maybe one or two during the week depending on how it's going. If I desperately need brainstorming, or am feeling really depressed or something, I'll make a post in the hopes that it will somehow make things better. Unlikely.
So, that said, thanks again for reading my horribly rambling blog post. etc. etc. etc, have a nice day and so on and nonesuch.
Nate out.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Blog posting
Hmm...
It's gonna be very interesting seeing if I can come up with stuff for this blog. Currently it's only read by one person, as far as I know, and I don't know what sorts of things I'm going to want to write about. Hmm, I'm writing a blog post about blog posting. Is there a fourth wall repairman in the house?
Anyway. The other question, of course, is whether or not I'll keep updating at all, or even think about it. I really have no idea; I tend to start projects like this, or like a long story, or like a webcomic, and then not really get anywhere on them for extended periods of time. I suppose it sort of depends on who (if anyone else) ends up reading it; there's not much point in writing stuff like this just to myself. I suppose I'd better actually write about something interesting in that case, then, and not just ramble on about blogging and repeatedly breaking the fourth wall (and beyond) and random stuff that nobody cares about.
Hurm.
On the subject of onamonapias such as "hurm," I read Watchmen recently. Somewhat depressing, but extremely thought provoking. Of course, this sparked a conversation on the last hiking trip I went on about the best way to solve the worlds problems being to bio-engineer a new equivalent of the bubonic plague.
This would solve:
-Overpopulation
-Food issues (fewer people, more food)
-Environmental issues (could easily affect only humans, and less humans=more time for environment to heal)
-Wars (no people, no wars, people need to unite against a single problem. A very Ozymandias-type solution)
And what does this show?
It shows that I'm going to grow up to be the semi-evil mastermind determined to destroy the world in order to save it from itself
. Joy.
Oh, and note on the smiley:
It and any other smileys I use here (I really like this set) are all done by Rich Burlew for use in his forums, at giantitp.com. Credit where it's due. (I have never seen a better set of smileys. I may also use ones made by forum-goers who thought that there were some missing. I'll likely add their names to this post if I use them)
...Yeah. I like smileys
.
Signing off (holds up sign),
Kopaka, aka Nate, future destroyer of worlds
It's gonna be very interesting seeing if I can come up with stuff for this blog. Currently it's only read by one person, as far as I know, and I don't know what sorts of things I'm going to want to write about. Hmm, I'm writing a blog post about blog posting. Is there a fourth wall repairman in the house?
Anyway. The other question, of course, is whether or not I'll keep updating at all, or even think about it. I really have no idea; I tend to start projects like this, or like a long story, or like a webcomic, and then not really get anywhere on them for extended periods of time. I suppose it sort of depends on who (if anyone else) ends up reading it; there's not much point in writing stuff like this just to myself. I suppose I'd better actually write about something interesting in that case, then, and not just ramble on about blogging and repeatedly breaking the fourth wall (and beyond) and random stuff that nobody cares about.
Hurm.
On the subject of onamonapias such as "hurm," I read Watchmen recently. Somewhat depressing, but extremely thought provoking. Of course, this sparked a conversation on the last hiking trip I went on about the best way to solve the worlds problems being to bio-engineer a new equivalent of the bubonic plague.
This would solve:
-Overpopulation
-Food issues (fewer people, more food)
-Environmental issues (could easily affect only humans, and less humans=more time for environment to heal)
-Wars (no people, no wars, people need to unite against a single problem. A very Ozymandias-type solution)
And what does this show?
It shows that I'm going to grow up to be the semi-evil mastermind determined to destroy the world in order to save it from itself
. Joy.Oh, and note on the smiley:
It and any other smileys I use here (I really like this set) are all done by Rich Burlew for use in his forums, at giantitp.com. Credit where it's due. (I have never seen a better set of smileys. I may also use ones made by forum-goers who thought that there were some missing. I'll likely add their names to this post if I use them)
...Yeah. I like smileys
.Signing off (holds up sign),
Kopaka, aka Nate, future destroyer of worlds
Saturday, October 17, 2009
First!
Well, this'd be my first blog post. Kinda interesting, I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Will people read this? Who will they be? Will they be from some forum, or a friend who stumbled across it, or will it never be read at all? Do I want this to be read? Will I allow it to be read? And will websites ever allow you to use the tab key?
Anyway.
Some stuff about me:
I live in Massachusetts, USA
I am in high school, a sophmore as I write this (15 years old, b-day on May the 30th)
I play lotsa RPGs, especially Dungeons and Dragons
I spend way too much time on the computer
I play ultimate Frisbee
I'm trying to start a webcomic
I am somewhat shy, introverted, and occasionally depressed
I think about stuff way too much
I am always desperate for other people's attention and approval, so a comment would be nice if you're reading this! Especially if I don't know you IRL!
Now, stuff at the moment:
It's funny. I do a bit of writing, and recently wrote a short story for one of my characters in a Mutants and Masterminds Play by Post game. I wrote it as the point at which my character (once a thief) starts along the path to becoming a hero. I began to think up some characters:
Mal Vedus, aka Breaker, my character
The Falcon, a local crimelord specializing in blackmail
Viper, a psychopathic thug working for The Falcon
Essentially, Mal backed out on a job connected to the Falcon. It was an important job, though not exactly specified. As I had written the character The Falcon, he would tolerate no such thing, and would have to teach the perpetrator of such a thing a very harsh lesson to ensure that no others would try it. So, he decided to kill Mal's two children, who he loved essentially more than life (as I said, The Falcon specializes in blackmail. He knows this sort of thing). Viper attacks Mal, leaves a note from the Falcon and a note hinting at what he did/was going to do (i.e. kill the children). Cut to Viper, now wiping the blood off his knife with a kitchen rag. Being the psychopath he is, he's remembering the panic on the faces of the children who's throats he slit. Disturbed yet?
Here's the funny thing:
I wasn't, when I wrote the story. It seemed the natural interaction between the characters given the situation. Having shared it and gotten opinions, I can now see how horribly dark and disturbing it is. It kinda creeps me out, knowing that I wrote that without even realizing it...
Anyway, story is here. Some language, and not for the faint of heart :P
So yeah, ending my first blog post here for tonight. If you're reading this, I thank you for paying attention to me, it makes me feel better that people want to know more about my screwed-up mind :P.
Thanks for reading, and g'night!
Anyway.
Some stuff about me:
I live in Massachusetts, USA
I am in high school, a sophmore as I write this (15 years old, b-day on May the 30th)
I play lotsa RPGs, especially Dungeons and Dragons
I spend way too much time on the computer
I play ultimate Frisbee
I'm trying to start a webcomic
I am somewhat shy, introverted, and occasionally depressed
I think about stuff way too much
I am always desperate for other people's attention and approval, so a comment would be nice if you're reading this! Especially if I don't know you IRL!
Now, stuff at the moment:
It's funny. I do a bit of writing, and recently wrote a short story for one of my characters in a Mutants and Masterminds Play by Post game. I wrote it as the point at which my character (once a thief) starts along the path to becoming a hero. I began to think up some characters:
Mal Vedus, aka Breaker, my character
The Falcon, a local crimelord specializing in blackmail
Viper, a psychopathic thug working for The Falcon
Essentially, Mal backed out on a job connected to the Falcon. It was an important job, though not exactly specified. As I had written the character The Falcon, he would tolerate no such thing, and would have to teach the perpetrator of such a thing a very harsh lesson to ensure that no others would try it. So, he decided to kill Mal's two children, who he loved essentially more than life (as I said, The Falcon specializes in blackmail. He knows this sort of thing). Viper attacks Mal, leaves a note from the Falcon and a note hinting at what he did/was going to do (i.e. kill the children). Cut to Viper, now wiping the blood off his knife with a kitchen rag. Being the psychopath he is, he's remembering the panic on the faces of the children who's throats he slit. Disturbed yet?
Here's the funny thing:
I wasn't, when I wrote the story. It seemed the natural interaction between the characters given the situation. Having shared it and gotten opinions, I can now see how horribly dark and disturbing it is. It kinda creeps me out, knowing that I wrote that without even realizing it...
Anyway, story is here. Some language, and not for the faint of heart :P
So yeah, ending my first blog post here for tonight. If you're reading this, I thank you for paying attention to me, it makes me feel better that people want to know more about my screwed-up mind :P.
Thanks for reading, and g'night!
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